Unimpressed

My book friend heard the call of my shrinking Pile and lo and behold a box appeared on my doorstep. Filled with books. Naturally I couldn’t resist making one of these my next read after I finished the series. Although, surprisingly, one of the books in the box I’d read previously. It’s not that I expect my friend to have encyclopedic knowledge of all things I’ve read, it’s that she has a tendency to supply me with books I haven’t heard of, local authors from her region, ARCs, and a lot of YA that I would otherwise never investigate. If you’re curious about the book that went directly into the sell pile, that post is here. But, let’s get back to today’s book.

I thought about choosing an anthology today to offset the novels, but instead I decided on a romance. I mean, there was romance in the series I’ve been reading, but it’s very much a tug of war and doesn’t follow romance conventions. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy series, and romance is just an element of it.

Today’s book is Girl’s Guide to Witchcraft by Mindy Klasky. It’s noted that firstly, this is the first book of the Washington Witches series. And secondly, this is the fifteenth anniversary edition. My friend actually supplied two different books by this author, and I chose to go with this one first because it’s older. And if the two series connect in any way, it seems like a decent choice to go older first.

I will say that of the two books, this is the one I had more misgivings about. The last witchcraft-themed romance novel I read, The Ex Hex, wasn’t great. And a lot of the witch-themed romance anthologies I’ve read also tend to be less interesting than say, the werewolf or vampire ones. It could be because witchcraft is much more mainstream and you’ll find it in more general fiction, not just in fantasy. Point being, I didn’t have the highest hopes for this self published book.

These hopes weren’t raised as I began. Maybe I’ve been privileged, but I find a twenty-five percent salary reduction to be entirely unrealistic. Even moreso when combined with protagonist Jane Madison’s historical library job offering her a new home. The cottage on their backlot, where she won’t have to pay rent or utilities. Nothing about this strikes me as being remotely realistic.

Then there’s her Imaginary Boyfriend. An attractive college professor does research at the library and Jane’s been fantasizing about him for the better part of a year. But, of course, not doing anything about it. Which is just as bad as her best friend, who rigorously researches her dates and has a new one every two weeks (because the research takes that long, I guess). The two are in their mid or late twenties, I think, but their maturity level feels younger.

Anyway, Jane discovers that the basement of her new home is a treasure trove of witchcraft. And it seems that she herself is a witch, although she never knew. She promptly summons a familiar, because the book is open to that spell, and gets a handsome gay guy named Neko. Also a handsome warder pounding at her door demanding to know why she stupidly cast a spell like that at moon dark.

This is another major failing of the book. We’ve got David, the warder, whose job appears to be protecting and educating the witch. But he doesn’t seem to do a lot of instructing, given how much free time Jane seems to have. And he doesn’t do basic damage control any time she casts a spell when he’s not around. As in, he doesn’t ask what the spell was or make sure that it’s grounded, dissipated, whatever. A basic of just about every magic system is that you don’t want to leave a spell running unless that’s the point, like a warding or something. And since the spell I’m mostly bitching about is a glamour to attract sexy men…yeah, this shouldn’t be left up for a whole host of reasons.

There is a lot that we never see David explain to Jane, and from context clues, I think the scenes where any significant information is dropped are definitely included. So the fact that he doesn’t make sure she understands the magic community, consequences, etc. is a definite problem.

Oh, and is magic supposed to be secret or not in this world? Because the first thing Jane does after meeting Neko and David is call her bestie and tell her all about it. And said bestie is all in and wants to see the things, wants Jane to cast more spells, etc. Which all strikes me as very dangerous considering that Jane already gives this person a lot of influence of her life.

Jane also keeps focusing on her Imaginary Boyfriend even after David, who is clearly a more suitable paramour, shows up.

Oh, and even though Jane is a poor librarian, she clearly comes from money, as we see when she meets her grandmother for lunch at the Four Seasons. (The hotel, not the landscapers. This book predates that.) So while sure, she has made an effort to be independent, she clearly has a fallback if she needs it. This isn’t necessarily a fundamental problem with the book, but it doesn’t make me particularly sympathetic to Jane.

Plus Neko is a stereotypical gay man with a sense for fashion and also starts dating a hairdresser because…I don’t even know. I don’t understand why the cat has to be human in the first place. Between him, Imaginary Boyfriend, the warder, and the flies Jane accidentally catches with her glamour, she’s got a regular harem that she’s tripping over.

Honestly, I didn’t finish the book. I put it down once Jane discovers that Imaginary Boyfriend is married. Which is after she invites him to her annual family reunion and after they have sex. Because this is just so…unnecessary.

The book doesn’t know what it wants to focus on. There’s the job, where Jane is being made to dress in colonial clothing to increase foot traffic. There’s the family, where her mother is not actually dead and wants to form a relationship and her grandmother has pneumonia. There’s the witchcraft, where she is going purely on instinct and isn’t getting much training or practical information. There’s the friend, who is basically a human id, always pushing her to do more and different things. There’s the Imaginary Boyfriend whom she won’t stop dreaming about even when she is given the opportunity to form a real connection with someone else.

And because the book doesn’t know where to focus, neither does Jane, getting pulled in a dozen different directions and making minimal progress, at best, in any of them. So all of the plots are weak and/or underdeveloped, plus there’s the utter lack of reality in so much of it. I mean, yes, obviously I know that magic isn’t real. But I accept it as being real when I read a book like this. However, if you can’t build a believable story beyond that, there’s nothing for me.

You know what Klasky’s explanation of the salary cut and housing deal was? That the magic collection in the basement was reaching out and arranged things so that Jane would come find it. However, there are so many better ways this could have been set up that didn’t involve a ridiculously huge pay cut and her job offering to pay her rent and utilities.

This mess really makes me question whether or not I’m willing to try the other Klasky book. So, I decided to do a little research. See, the name “Mindy Klasky” sounded familiar. I checked and, sure enough, I’ve read things by her before. There was a self-published YA novel in a Hannukah box that I didn’t care for. There’s a short story in the Hannukah romance anthology…I think that one was fine. And then there’s one in Space, Inc. of all books. A sci-fi anthology. I think that was fine too. This could simply mean that Klasky is better with shorter material.

I guess that means I won’t ditch the other novel out of hand. Especially because, as I said, it’s the one that appealed to me more than this one. However, I don’t think I want to try it tomorrow. Wouldn’t want two failures in a row, especially when it’s so easily preventable. Well, in this case it would be. The eternal question of what to read next will have to be answered in some way by then. But I’ll figure it out. I always do.